You are either going to like this film or hate it. I guess I fit into the extreme minority of critics who don’t like it. The humor isn’t as funny and consistent as I thought it would be, especially after seeing the crazy trailer, which really had me excited to see this film. Sure there are some quotable and amusing lines, especially by John Malcovich. His character is the best and he stays consistent, so I was very pleased with him and his scenes. But for all the star power inside this movie, I just kept thinking that I’d much rather be home watching a DVD chilling.

Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich, Bewoulf) is a foul mouth CIA agent who got fired for drinking too much. He decides to write a memoir about his life while his frosty wife Katie (Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton) is secretly planning to divorce him. Oddly enough, Osbourne’s memoirs gets into the hands of a couple of buffoonish physical trainers at the local gym who are—I can’t say it any other way—IDIOTS! These yo-yos, Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand, Friends with Money) who looks a HOT MESS, but she is extremely quirky and naturally funny and Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt, Ocean’s 11, 12, 13) who is just a natural idiot, decide to blackmail Osbourne for some moolah in exchange for his private account of historical events that are burned to a disc (which they think are top-secret CIA raw data). Once Osbourne is confronted by Chad to negotiate, the crazy caper gets on its way. Well at least it was supposed to get on its way.

Now I have to digress for one second...

The women in this movie are a BLOODY MESS. Can girlfriend get some Mystic Tan or something?

Burn is just one big movie of unnecessary banter. Hey, you might like that. Its the kind of banter you might find on an episode of Seinfeld. Some of it produced a couple chuckles from me, but the audience in the theater really cracked up. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s what I like to call jive people humor—that Seinfeld humor. Brad Pitt doing his little dance jig became annoying to me after I saw it in the trailer several times. However, it sure pulled a lot of yuk yuks throughout the theater. By the time he did it in the movie, I was thinking…“okay, woo hoo, yeah yeah whateva”! Brad sure plays a moron quite well.

George Clooney, (Michael Clayton) had a quirky character named Harry who is a smooth talker to the ladies. Clooney and his boy Brad actually don’t share but one scene together, so you Clooney/Pitt fans, I don’t want you to be disappointed. I felt this bit of info deserved a heads up.

Burn is one of those movies that would have been perfect for me to watch on a DVD fit to my screen. It’s not some big action high-speed movie that needs a large screen for a full cinematic feel. DVD is perfect for a goofy, unrealistic, caper film such as this.

People, your on your own on this one. I didn’t care for it, but the crowd around me seemed to have liked it. And, for some reason, I can see this kind of film getting a lot of acclaim. Those critics who like to bash the Tyler Perry movies as being “made for African American audiences” should be sure to mention this movie caters to “yuppie Seinfeld fans who think Brad Pitt dancing is hilarious.” Can you dig it?

My Rating ~ 2 Reels

2 - Rent this movie on DVD when it comes out

Audience Rating (What's Yours?)

Reel Talk

Warning! Reel Talk is my to-the-point comments and opinions—and it contains spoilers. Don’t read this if you plan to watch this movie!

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